How to Tell if you just got Lucky or you are Actually a Total Stud

Congrats you just scored last night. You have a bad bitch in your bed and you are feeling like a total stud right about now. But wait.

How do you know whether it was you and your endless charisma, defined jawline and impeccable humor, or if you just got lucky? Did she see you from across the room one moment and the next she is wondering what happened to her clothes? Did she leave the house with a plan to get laid that night, or were you a great force of testosterone she just couldn’t deny? Was it your dick she wanted, or would any dick have satisfied? Here are the questions to ask yourself:

1. Are her legs shaved? I am talking freshly shaved, smooth as a baby’s ass. If so she probably shaved hours earlier with the intention of a man’s touch.

2. Is her whole body shaved? You know what I am talking about. Now I don’t mean she got a bikini wax a week ago, I mean are their red bumps because she just shaved that night and was in a hurry to do so??

3. What kind of underwear is she wearing? Lacy or cotton brief? Thong or saggy, beige monstrosity? Does her underwear match? This is probably the most telltale sign. If her bra and underwear match ding ding she got dressed with the intention that someone else would be doing the undressing. However, if you are a man you might not have a clear idea of what a matching set is. Let me make this simple. If she is wearing a black bra with black underwear, it’s matching. If she is wearing a hot pink bra with black underwear that is not matching.

4. Does her outfit allow for easy access? What I mean is not whether she is wearing a dress with no underwear (although that is probably a telltale sign right there) But like is she wearing spanx or biker shorts under neither? A complex romper with thirteen buttons and a padlock on the zipper? All of the following are difficult to remove and are not worn with the intention to be effortlessly flung from her body in a heated moment of passion. Unlike men, women do not just throw on any old thing. What they wear is very intentional and comes with a complex thought process. A cute outfit to go out with friends is very different from what Beyonce calls a “freakum dress.”

5. Is she wearing a padded bra? No woman wears that for any other reason than to lure a man’s gaze. Although she might not be too forward thinking, because once he gets that bra under closer inspection its all gonna be a hoax when those D’s are really A’s.

6. Did she come prepared?? You know what I am talking about. I mean is that black-hole-of-a-purse of her’s stocked with all the necessities. Condoms? Tooth brush? Extra pair of panties? Phone charger?

7. Is she wearing perfume? This is a bit tricky because she might have worn it as a part of her dressing up routine. However since perfume is not visual, it means she intended on being close to someone and not merely a beautiful woman whom you saw from across the room. Perfume is worn with the intention of seduction in the closest vicinity.

8. What did she eat before hand? If you were with her when she was eating what did she choose to eat? Was it a taco or a salad? A woman who is planning to have sex later on does not want to be bloated and will choose her meal carefully.

9. Does she smell clean? Is her breath fresh? Such are indicators of getting up close and personal with someone. I am not merely referring to whether she brushed her teeth that morning or if she washed her hair in the last few days, I am talking about whether she made a recent attempt at being extra clean such as brushing her teeth in the last hour or taking a breath mint. These all mean she came prepared.

10. If you are in a group setting and her friends are present, do they seem surprised that she is leaving with you? Girls gossip and gas one another up, and so if she wanted to get laid that night you better know that all her friends knew about it and that they won’t be surprised when they see her head home with you. On the contrary, if they did not know about it expect some confusion, darting glances and furtive questions being asked before she slinks away with you. Girl groups are like KGB body guards and trust me they will notice you leaving with her and they will want to know what’s up. Pro tip: There will be giggling.

11. Does she have somewhere to be in the morning? If you’ve been chatting with her and she mentions that she has somewhere to be in the morning and sex has not even become an option, she was not planning on winding up in your sheets. But if she seems without hesitation to stay up all night with you and there is no mention of any activities she must dart off to in the morning, then she planned it that way and she planned on doing you.

Men often make the assumption that they are big studs by wooing a woman into bed with them, however if she meets any of the above criteria it was her who planned on getting laid and you just happened to be in the right place at the right time you lucky dawg. Women have needs too you know, and it all depends on whether you are in the crossfire when she does. She probably woke up that morning and thought “tonight I am getting some dick” and proceeded to shave her legs and pick out sexy underwear.

Men need to understand that sex might be initiated by them, but it is chosen by a woman. If she does not want to get fucked, no amount of coy humor and well-coiffed hair or sensuous cologne is going to persuade her otherwise. Once again, I think Beyonce said it best when she said “my persuasion can build a nation” and she was not wrong.

Unless you are in a relationship with your sexual partner, you for sure just got lucky. No it was not your “game” or suave technique in impressing women, you just happened to be in the vicinity of a woman who wanted to get laid. Perhaps she had many choices to choose from and she chose you, great. But it was still all on her terms and had a lot more to do with how horny she was that night, or if she wanted to get back at her ex, or what have you, and a lot less about your manly musk.

good luck,
Ellie xx

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