You’ve seen it all before.
The band dork who has to conceal his boners in class everytime the seating chart puts him right next to Sexy Samantha.
The beads of sweat that form upon his upper lip when she asks him what the teacher said, or if she can borrow a pen.
And that nervous smile he sheepishly cracks at 6’3″ Football Quarterback Chad as he watches Sexy Samantha hop on the back of his motorcycle after school–even after listening to her moan in class about what an asshole he his!
What the hell?
“So is it true? Do chicks really dig jerks?”
Do they prefer the fuckboi who texts them “u up?” at 1 am on a Friday night instead of Eagle Scout Andy who would do all her homework in a heartbeat, and make her a duct tape rose to boot?
While on the surface it may appear that, “acting like a jackass,” is what is at work here, something else is at play.
Let’s take a closer look.
At the end of the day, all of our biology and behavior is driven towards reproduction.
Women’s bodies are specifically designed to give birth to and subsequently care for children.
Their equipped with additional fat stores to tide them over during a pregnancy alongside two oddly attractive milk jugs that will keep any baby well fed, even in the harshest of winters.
They’re born with testosterone levels that are significantly higher than their female counterparts: increased levels of muscle mass, a preference for riskier behavior, and of course their most beloved desire to stick their phallus inside any woman who is willing.
“So what’s this got to do with chicks, ‘digging jerks’?”
In ancient times, if a woman became pregnant, she risked her entire livelihood to carry the pregnancy to term.
She’d be vulnerable, unable to care for herself at times (especially as she got closer and closer to birth), and most likely in need of protection and resources from another individual.
And what better protector than someone who has higher levels of muscle mass, goes after what they want, and selfishly believes their desires are more important?
A nice guy?
“Wait a minute, wouldn’t she prefer Eagle Scout Andy who’d do anything she’d ask, versus 6’3″ Chad who’s just using her for sex?”
That’s what you’d think.
But since her sexual attraction is driven by these primal desires–who’d be a better provider–she opts for Chad.
If selfish Chad had impregnated her, she would rest assured that his selfish desire to get what he wants–i.e. protecting her and gathering resources to ensure the safety and birth of his future child–would be far more effective than Nice Guy Nathan who gets pushed around and does what anyone else says.
“So they do dig jerks!”
This dichotomy never was between jerks and nice guys.
That’s just what it appears to be.
It’s between strong men and weak men.
And not necessarily physical strength either.
Rather, it is because strong men make women feel safe and secure.
So in a sense, you can still be a friendly guy, but you must also be strong.
The definition of a “Nice Guy”–the one we all think about–is someone who only behaves in a nice manner because they want to be liked by everybody and likewise not have anyone think badly about them.
Is this you?
If so, it’s time to unchain yourself from the shackles of “nice-itis.”
Don’t make the mistake that acting fearful and weak-minded makes you “nice.”
Returning to our story…
A man who unapologetically goes after what he wants (Chad) is demonstrating to women that, if he impregnated her, he would do whatever it takes to make sure she and his baby would be safe.
By the same token, Nice Guy Nathan is illustrating that he’ll let others walk all over him and let them get what they want before he does.
In layman’s terms: his “nice” behavior is intuitively letting women know that if she gets impregnated by him, he will most likely NOT do whatever it takes to take care of what’s his–her and the baby.
Food shortage? You best believe Nathan will be the last in line. But not Chad.
Recession? Nathan’s unemployed. Chad owns a business.
Sinking ship? Chad and his family are already on the lifeboat. Nathan gave up his seat.
While women don’t consciously come to this conclusion, they believe it.
They’ll most likely say something along the lines of, “He isn’t my type.”
Or, “He’ll meet a nice and sweet girl one day and make her happy, but I just see him as a friend.”
“So is that all there is to it? Act strong?”
There is one last important element in this game.
A man’s sense of entitlement.
The way a man treats a woman ultimately reveals what he thinks about himself and her.
In other words, if he is treating her like a princess and worships the ground she walks on, she’ll most likely think he is of lower value than her.
She’ll wonder, “If he’s so great, why is he going to such great lengths to please me?”
“Clearly, he must be below me, right?”
By the same token, if he treats her like she’s no big deal, then he is demonstrating that he is of higher or equal value to her.
“He only got me a Snickers bar for my birthday!? Is it because he could do better than me??”
“I better stay with him!!”
Human Sexuality 101.
Stay tuned for more.