Relax, it’s Worse Than You Think

Do you find yourself believing you’re the sole loser amidst the lions and tigers of the dating jungle?

The only one who simply can’t seem to get more than 2 matches per day on Tinder, no matter what you do? The mere thought of getting super liked is a far-off dream?

Maybe you get that jolt of dismay every time you look in the mirror and see only a protruding gut, fueled from Budweiser – the only six-pack you’ve ever owned in your life.

Perhaps you feel like a complete failure because 90% of your time at work is spent pointlessly browsing Facebook and Instagram, where you lament the way life has treated you. There you are, in your cubicle, watching Big Titty Becky go on about her skincare routine while she’s away in Croatia for the weekend.

Oh yeah, and her boyfriend just got that promotion. He’ll be getting a salary raise for a total 750k per year. I wonder what her anniversary gift will be?

And at 27 years old, your fertility dwindling, you can’t even hope to get a date.

Is life really so cruel?

Relax, it’s worse than you think.

What you don’t know is that Becky has an eating disorder, takes dangerous psychotropic medication for her depression, and bought 90% of her Instagram followers. And her boyfriend? He works 16 hours per day and they never see each other. This vacation is his first time off in 12 months.

But.. but… but.. Zac Efron is shredded and has a perfect life! What about him!!

Think again.

Before Body Makeup

After Body Makeup

And if you do your research, it is apparent he used cutting agents (fat burning drugs) to achieve the look he has.

Even his life isn’t real.

The reality here? People aren’t that great.

That superstar businessman isn’t an ultra-productive machine that makes zero mistakes and has light coming out of his ass when he gets up at 5 am to work all day.

That hot girl with the resting bitch face isn’t a do-gooder goddess who will levitate above you when you approach her.

The couple with that perfect life you see on TV? They don’t even exist.

And social media? Oh god. Don’t compare your “Behind-the-Scenes” with everyone else’s highlight reel.

Do you really think people will post themselves crying about missing their promotion on Instagram? Or how their crush ghosted them?

Not a chance.

It’s all bullshit.

With the advent of the internet, the Millennial generation bombastically overestimates the abilities and lives of everyone around them. Don’t fall for this.

Believe it or not, most people suck. Most people watch life pass them by while they dream about accomplishing things they never will.

Most people watch the guy or girl of their dreams walk right by them without as much a peep.

Most people plant their ass in front of Netflix every night instead of hitting the gym.

They’re simply too lazy to get off their fat asses and take action.

The good news? There’s no competition.

I mean it. None. Nada.

Workout for 3 hours per week, go to H&M and buy two cool outfits, then straighten-up your posture and BAM!

Everyone around you will think you’re a god damn unicorn.

So where do we go from here?

While yes, the dating environment today is a far cry from what your grand-pappy experienced, rest-assured, you put in 1% more effort than the competition and you’ll be the 1%.

That fear you experience when you walk past a hot guy/girl you want to meet? You’re not a pussy. Everyone feels it. 

That feeling of dread you get that makes you want to back out from your online date? You’re not a pussy. Everyone feels it.

That feeling of jealousy you get when you scroll through Instagram and see all those gorgeous, photoshopped and airbrushed bodies? You’re not a pussy. Everyone feels it.

The problem? Everyone believes these feelings.

It isn’t the feeling that makes you a pussy. It’s the believing.

So sit back, relax, and get ready to saddle up the fear inside you. It’s time to ride.

Now that we know everyone in our society is an insecure pussy, we also know it doesn’t take much to be a winner.

So next time you feel those feelings of dread, remember, everyone feels them too. Just be sure not to listen.

Once you get going, ignore those feelings, and put in that 1% of effort, believe me, soon everyone will think you have a perfect life and have it all together.

When was the last time one of your girlfriends talked about getting approached by a guy on the sidewalk?

When was the last time one of your guy friends said they got the numbers of two girls during the day when they were out downtown?

Probably never.

Okay, maybe once or twice. But you get my point.

While the actual rules of the modern dating jungle may be confusing as hell, it doesn’t take much to play at a high level.

Everyone listens to their fearful inner monologue and not a soul takes action.

In short: no one does jack shit.

All you need to do is get moving.

And yes, once you start taking steps in the right direction, the bitches and fuc bois will come knocking on your door. Get ready to beat them off with a stick!

Your Pal,

-Luke

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